Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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