I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize