as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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