So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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