it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
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Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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