Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
