Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
