found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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