so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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