Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i think i have two assholes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
