the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
