We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
