recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She bit a glass in half.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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