I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
