Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
