I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
