Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
