this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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