I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
