if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize