i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
