I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just pee around me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
