Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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