I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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