I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
