brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
