well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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