Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
