At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
