Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
