There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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