with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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