I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
