My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize