we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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