Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
