Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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