I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
