White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
