Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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