Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
