Christians are straight up FREAKS
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
