census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize