i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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