Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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