I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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