my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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