Just fell off a train. Bad.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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