so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
