never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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