So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
