What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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