oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize