I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
