Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize