I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize