A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
