my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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