I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize