you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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